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A Whole Lotta Protoplasm
From: Marc Thomas
Hi Trek TV Friends, Everything I know about microbiology comes from this episode. Good thing I'm not a doctor. A concept from chemistry called the 'surface area to volume ratio' is in grave danger! Spock and McCoy want to know why! This is another creature-feature like 'Obsession' but there is a lot of scientific curiosity expressed by the aforementioned pair and it's particularly nice to see it in the later. The Grinch doesn't let a newfound sense of scientific wonder interfere with his practical responsibilities as the ships lone meth dealer. He has the whole crew tweekin'. Way to keep it hippocratic Bone-Bone! I'm not sure what Spock means when he says "No one has ever conquered the Vulcans." We humans, haven't been conquered either. I mean, that's nice and all, but you know, big fucking deal. What I find most alarming is this. If the Space Amoeba feeds on energy why not just munch on stars? They are considerably more energetic than planets or spaceships. Well, maybe the heavier elements add some flavor, still, I'll bet it's not a healthy choice. "Space Amoeba! Remember, Planets are a sometimes food." That's what I say. Watch this… notice this part of the email? This is the part where I stop writing because I've re-watched the episode, written my review, but haven't heard Trek TV yet. I'm just waiting now. Ah, there you are! Next, I will take notes as I listen then, delete my own cleaver little observations if one of you podcasters beats me to the punch. This should whittle down the top part of the email a bit. This next part will contain my reaction to what you say in the podcast. Like this... Well, Trek TV is on a real Jared jag, he can pinch hit for Tracy or Vaughn. Excelent "Jared, no eating during the podcast unless you brought enough for everyone!" Wow, I'm quite the stern old school marm tonight. I appreciate how the "As genocide's go…" quip was then followed by the new Opening Theme. Nice editing, is that you Vaughn? Also, the use of the Closing Theme as your "go get a beer" interstitial music was very nicely applied. I was really happy with the way you used the music, especially when paired with Jared's improvised libretto, you're an old-school nightclub jazz cat, man. That's cooool. Not a great TOS episode, but a way, kick-ass Trek TV. So funny, so rude. Biggest abortion ever? A giant space zygote, indeed. Welcome back Tracy, She comes out swingin'. Have I mentioned that I love the 'Futurama' references? It's one of the only non-Trek shows I know, and really, it's not a non-Trek show at all, is it? (rhetorical) "Chicks always shake directly into a man" Way to say it, Tracy! This, right after wondering why there are no seat belts. The screen cap on the web page featuring Kirk, McCoy and Scotty having some perv-time together over a hot Yeoman's fine ass, captures the spirit of sexual harassment that is at the heart of Roddenbury's vision for the future. I loved the dingo digression, always having longed to live some place where crazy un-northern hemispherical criiters roam. But all those places are outside. Hi Collin, I've never participated in an online forum. If Trek TV gets one, I guess I will. Would we we still get to email? Did Sharon volunteer me to fill in when you guys can't do a show? Well, I'd be willing, but in the interest of full disclosure, I don't really sound like George Takai. That was a lie nestled within a gamble that the truth would never out. Honestly though, I'd be troubled to have Tracy and Vaughn both miss an episode. The best thing is for you, is to stay home forever and stop exploring the world beyond the confines of this podcast. That way, you won't need a substitute. Here's some more wisdom from the ages. You wondered if the term 'cougar' was au currant in the olden days. There were no 'cougars' back in the sixties children, I was just lying again. Such ambitious women were called 'saber-tooth cats', and 'cave lions'. Kaelin (spelled write?) speaks gaelic that's so cool. I know a pair of adorable little Scottish kids who speak that thousand year old language! Well, actually, they are in their mid twenties now, but I believe I've made my point. Although, I have forgotten what it was. Unlike the Post-Red Matter Kirk from that brand new, two year old, movie. This week you are discussing a Captain who has never driven a car in "A Piece of the Action" I can't wait to write about that one next. And thats how I end the email. Now, I will delete over half of what I've just written, in the interest of brevity (this could easily be less brief, believe me) and press return. I don't know why I'm explaining my email process to you, one would think such exposition to be the most delete worthy part of the whole thing, but there you go. I think someday, when have you have finished your ambitious Trek TV mission I may gather all my discarded email notes and use them to make a tribute podcast to Trek TV where I review every episode of Trek TV by production number and put it on the internet. Or whatever exists in place of the internet that far in the future. Please make it stop, stop writing Marc Thomas